Like Gandhi, be slow to anger

Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, Nelson Mandela, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Mother Teresa are for me, the slowest of human beings. They’re people who maintain a snail pace – they’re not quick to anger, in fact, they’re very slow to anger. Read any of the official and authoritative texts about them, and you’ll get the same message I got, that these are ordinary man behaving and keeping themselves in extraordinary manners, particularly when it comes to interacting with others and even those who hurt them the most.

Today, there’re so many brazen pressures about us. Everything is quick quick quick and we’re busy busy busy and neglecting to nurture the best of character traits in us. To top that all up, our lifestyles (a rat race one at most) are burnout ridden. Day in, day out. We’ve adopted instant behaviours. Behaviours that are not at all cultivated and grown from within us with nurturing – like the six leaders I mentioned.

The result is that because they’re such instantly obtained behaviours, we’re instant and quick in using them – we lose patience fast. We’re fast to anger. We’re quick to judge. And by the same token, quick to lose things of value in our lives due to such instant, quick fix behaviours.

I thought to myself the other day that, when faced with difficult situations, especially ones where I’m interacting with others, I’ll ask myself: What would Gandhi do – would he be eye-for-an-eye about it? Would the Dalai Lama make swift, harsh judgement? Would Nelson Mandela put aside his ego and keep cool the situation and forgive? Would Mother Teresa throw a big tantrum in an instant outburst? Wouldn’t Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., instead of acting with force of anger, rather proclaim that he has a dream – that tomorrow this too will pass and the two would-be belligerents embrace each other? "Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that," said King.

Without doubt, these people have consistently portrait some of the best character traits we know, and stealing a leaf from the books of ‘rules of engagement’ isn’t a bad idea.

With that in mind, wouldn’t one slow down the anger in them? I’m not claiming that that’s what I do daily when faced with angering situations. But I sure try and I did get it right on rare occasion. And without doubt, I’ve the opportunity, daily, to try and be patient and slow to anger. For anger is rarely ever justifiable, even if it’s in retaliation – Mandela and Gandhi certainly thought so.

Let’s face it, Anger does more damage inside us by waking the devil in us and giving them time to exercise and get stronger – for what ultimate purpose, I shudder to know. But I’ll also be first to agree that, anger sometimes may be necessary to push forward what we couldn’t otherwise have pronounced – but in that nature, it has to be extremely controlled, (hence, be slow to anger).

Regarding character and anger, wouldn't you agree that Dr King had it right when he proclaimed: "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy".

So next time when you get an invitation to engage in anger, respond patiently to it. Take time filling in your RSVP. Be slow to get to anger mode.

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"Judge of a man by his questions, rather than by his answers." - Voltaire