Exhilaratingly spooky and freaking dumbfounding

Those are my words describing my mood this morning after realising that I’ve made my first step to greatness by leaping or rather rocketing out of my sheepskin that I’d worn for over a decade. A decade of mediocrity and sorrow, and of course, mixed with fun, growth and love too. The challenge that comes with this infinite liberty will be extreme, but I hear a voice inside me say that it’s “okay”. That “the internal elements of such extremes are only there to guide you and mould you into what you’ve always desired to be”.

Immediately after seating at my desk here at work, I called my wife to share with her my ‘super natural’ anti-climax - (‘super natural’ because it was so difficult to arrive at this starting line), I’d believed that the start will be super natural. That some super natural force will come to me to help me get to the start.

But what I shared with my wife on the phone were news of a simple yet beautiful feeling of peace and quietness from within me. That the battles I’d embarked on for over ten years have now summed up to mean something: an arrival at a start called ‘the responsible path to greatness’ – and a least travelled one at that, for many do still wear the sheepskin that I’ve just shed (although it was shed over a longer time and I still have to peel off the itsy bitsy itching and annoying remnants her and there).

Let me not say too much of what happened in the last 24 hours but that on trying to fish meaning by sharing with my wife my insight, we both deduced that I made the call during the hour of 7am and I’d planned to dry fast so that I can shed off this sheepskin for good and commemorate a deeper connection with the joy, peace and birthpower from within me – the fast is on 07.07.07. The metaphor in that was oceans away from my mind and heart, but my wife simply said 777 is conventionally a jackpot.

There you go – 07.07.07 is the starting line to the thin path to greatness and infinite joy for me and I plan to share every moment of that with people along the way!

_Email this to a friend by clicking on the 'envelope' below_

Personal integrity

I've been slacking a lot on my big dreams/goals. And for some reasons, it's only lately that I get worried about it. Perhaps because my life has reached half-50 and I wonder: will I be able to to do in the next 25 years what I couldn't do in the past same period? The thought races my heart, to say the least. But it all boils down to my integrity. My personal integrity. That I haven't been honest with Izz regarding his committments and desires.

They say the simplest things in life are the hardest to achieve. And it's the simpler goals that I've always had for some time now that I'm not putting serious effort and action behind. And those goals, although small, cost me the opportunity of getting closer to the bigger dreams - and personal triumph (more like inner bliss).

A goal as simple as waking up at 5am to have my 'me' time for 30 minutes - thinking, reflecting, introspecting, meditating, appreciating and laughing at myself (silently of course, lest my wife things I've gone bollokous on this whole 'my enriched life thing' - can inject serious positive energy that can lead to better consistent action. I could shed all the bad acid in side me with that alone.

I think a struggle with making ones actions integral with ones goals is that it's always easy to not do than to do - mainly because we don't believe in the reality of our own big dreams. The incentive doesn't seem tangible. Again, it's always easy to not honour something at its due date and time, because 'it's my goal,I set it, so I can postpone it for later on'.

But at work, if the boss set a goal with strict deadlines for us - no matter how novel and difficult the task - we always deliver, for fear of being penalised and labeled incompetent, with incentives compromised.

But with our personal goals, there are really no visible, tangible penalties, hence the constant procrastination. I pity myself for being in that league - which I'll bade farewell soon. And hopefully, with this expressions, mine will be a changed goals lifestyle with repacursions if I don't stick to it. Ones my dance goes with my internal tune, once the two are congruent, I believe I'll shed the bad load and be happier. Now that's personal, inner harmony. It's integrity.


===========================================
"Judge of a man by his questions, rather than by his answers." - Voltaire