Izzonline July compilation

Each month end I'll be recollecting, in compilatoin, izzonline best posts, if not most, in terms of what really helped me get through multiple rainbows of emotions and maze of thoughts. And hopefuly you can cement some of your personal learnings too. On your marks, ready, GO:

Conversation withi Paulo Coelho
Now, what happens Mr Coelho, when you do all the best that you can to be better in your community and interact humanely with others, especially your friends - and they throw it all back in your face.
http://izzonline.blogspot.com/2007/07/conversation-with-paulo-coehlo.html

Beat the path of your heart
Heaped with worry that trickles to our hearts, we fail to develop a sense of hearing the song in our heart - a calling that says, 'beat this path', 'this is your purpose give it your all', 'follow your heart'.
http://izzonline.blogspot.com/2007/07/beat-path-of-your-heart.html

Smiles and laughs half the stress
Take time to smile and to laugh. That's the best medicine for so many inner human malices. When you smile, you're turning a frowned or otherwise indifferent face in to a beautiful emotion mirror.
http://izzonline.blogspot.com/2007/07/smiles-and-laughs-half-stress.html

Be honest with your heart
Better be the best first version of yourself than a second version of somebody else, it reminded me. And with that, I made a pact between my heart (the inspiration) and head (the writer) that you shall write as you feel and think. Not as you read and copied.
http://izzonline.blogspot.com/2007/07/be-honest-with-your-heart.html

Forgiveness purifies your heart to keep more love
Now for you, in moments of challenge, a challenge to forgive when forgiveness is most needed, where do you stand? (And it's most needed when you deny it).
http://izzonline.blogspot.com/2007/07/forgiveness-purifies-your-heart-to-keep.html

We fear a thing called nothing
Fear is pure melancholy and no more. It's a feeling like any other and we can either choose to embrace it or let go of it and just be.
http://izzonline.blogspot.com/2007/07/we-fear-thing-called-nothing-laughable.html

Don't fight your own
And because I was in fight mode, it took me longer to realise that the damage being done didn't justify the fight. That I was eating away at the foundations of something precious, something I could barely be happy without.
http://izzonline.blogspot.com/2007/07/dont-fight-your-own.html

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Don't fight your own

The only best people you have are those that your heart chose to attach to. And even more specific, your life partner or your very best of friends. We get pissed off sometimes by people's behaviours and repetitive mistakes, but that all combines to make us what we simply are: human. And to fight our own, to fight those that you hold closest to your heart is not really doing much good, except when our motive is to better things up. But in most cases, we fight to protect our point of view or just to prove another wrong.

I once got caught up in a series of irrelevant fights that were extremely fruitless. And because I was in fight mode, it took me longer to realise that the damage being done didn't justify the fight. That I was eating away at the foundations of something precious, something I could barely be happy without. And it was all because I wanted my personal, individualistic prefereneces to prevail. No, it shouldn't work like that. At least ideally. It should work on a compromise where possible.

Fighting your own is in fact fighting yourself. Because those we love are a reflection of us in so many ways. As varied in characters as we may be, the gist is the same or similar at least. That's why we tick with some people and not at all with others. The distress of fighting your own is not worth the distraction from the nurturing of the relationship and the destruction of the trust and reliance. Tolerance, tolerance, tolerance. Your own people or partner, may in fact be the one running for your rescue when you're in deep waters unable to ride the raging high tide. And then they pull you out.

In short, embrace your own and find ways that are more amicable to deal with the others shortcomings and to manicure some of your narcistic preferrences. After all, you yourself are not perfect, you're just human. Don't fight your own.

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Small, constant actions turn dreams to reality

Thoughts alone, as grandiose as they may be, don’t get us closer to the reality of our dreams. They don’t make us work the daily goals and walk the talk. But thoughts are important as the springboard because they’re the ancestors of action, although having thoughts doesn’t guarantee action. It’s only through action that we truly do get closer to our dreams. Almost to say that actions are catalysts of turning dreams into reality.

Without taking action on what we have thought, we will continue to sell ourselves short. We will continue to be drifting ever distantly from our greatness. I know with me there are many thoughts, and repetitive thoughts, and less or at times, zero action. When that happens, and this is always a guaranteed outcome, I feel at my lowest – because I set my thoughts higher and my action mojo low or not set it at all. And I think that even for others, these causes a lot of the life’s depression valleys that we often find ourselves deep in their shadows.

If it is your thoughts and plan to go to gym to shape up for the summer, what is stopping you? Thirty minutes, or even 15min on the treadmill workout in the gym can provide some good deal of fitness (and cut back fat) as well as leave you less stressed by lightning you up.

If it is your plan and wish to wake up earlier in the mornings, say at about 5am, and you always find the courage to bang off the alarm than to step off bed, why not try to just get out and splash your face with cold water before hitting the kitchen for a kick starting cup of coffee? I bet you won’t go back to lounge in bed – at which point we always fall back into tempting slumber.

If it is your plan - which you always miss - to pray more often, why not do it whilst busy with something else or even whilst walking or driving? Almost like have a conversation with God as you would with a friend accompanying you in a car or walking to lunch. And it doesn't have to be a brilliant speech, but just your heart's prayer in your own words - a talk with a Friend. Still have excuses to miss it?

If it is your dream to start writing a book, why not just start by some little action: writing down the chapter names, designing the characters and laying out the plot? In fact, why not just write your first sentence.

The list is endless, and the first action, as difficult as always thought to be, is very rewarding. Instead of always wishing it, better try and do as little as you can manage of it each day. And you don’t have to always get it right – or for it to even work the first time. It is that we keep doing it that it turns into a habit, and such habits will truly make us.

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The universe is the servant of your wishes

As I'm battling to get through difficult chapter one of my fourteen-chapter book, I introduced a passage in one of the conversations in it. The passage is a long-standing natural truth that holds anywhere in the world (not that I've been an inch off South African shores). It's the principle that for a person who truly and hard enough, from the floors of their heart's, wishes to have something or be of greatness, the universe, with all it's many known and unknown mystical energies, will 'conspire to grant your wish'.

That truth, that principle alone, tells us that each of us can craft their own path to greatness with just a little bit of effort one day at a time for the universe's energies are not reserved by trucks of cash by a select few - they are accessible to everyone.

Effort and action, in my books I must confess, equals an invite for the universe's energies to come lift you up to heights that you yourself choose. It's an invite for these energies to circle around your heart to make it stronger to get closer to your dream. To metamophose your mind into a divine capsule that produces ideas you never thought would pass through your head. To transform your body into a stealth to guard it against weakness and distractive desires that may waiver your focus or put you off action from the dream.

But it is up to each one of us to make that one decision - as repetitive as we may make it (but continue until we get it right) - to start. To start to run our brush strokes on to that blank canvass. Until such a time happens, the powerful known and unknown mystical energies of the universe will not come to our support. And our dreams will remain just that: poooof... dreams.

As the many elders before all of us have said: "if you believe in something hard enough, the entire universe will conspire to make it happen". So do believe in that dream of yours hard enough, unquestionably and obsess on the action that has back it up, and watch the wings that the said energies will provide: wings of the mind and heart. And from that, comes never-thought-possible reality like the beauty of the first chapter of my international bestseller epic (ok, a little bit over shot but you get the point: believe hard enough).

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Smiles and laughs half the stress

The best thing, the best unique defining quality of us humans is the smile. And with equal measure too, the laugh as part of our nature is also definitive of what we are and why we are so unique in the animal kingdom - and survive without forseable extinct. These two qualities alone, although they are not, by default, traits, truly keep us going and safeguard us from exploding, what with all the rage and stress that swirls inside us sometimes. So make sure you treat these two qualities today as best as they do deserve to be treated. Use them.

The obvious dawned on me the other evening after my area had gone without water for more than 30 hours, and as if that was it, electricity just dimmed out - there we were in the middle of the most powerful capital city in Africa without the basics: water and lights. We were reduced to the dark ages, as one neighbour put it: "back to those days again hah." And with him, my wife and I chuckled, finding the whole situation funny. We laughed at ourselves that we live in the capital of South Africa in a 'lifestyle estate' (so the sales pamphlets claim - I still need pratical proof), but alas, no basics.

My point is simple: take time, during difficult situations, to step back and laugh at the whole thing for a moment will you. And as everybody around you is stressing and falling into instant, but self-induced depression, smile at them. Offer them a free smile and watch what happens. The whole situation starts to look different.

Take time to smile and to laugh. That's the best medicine for so many inner human malices. When you smile, you're turning a frowned or otherwise indifferent face in to a beautiful emotion mirror. That emotion will be reflected in the person you are in contact with. It's reciprocal. And if not, smile anyway, it does your heart and face good.

Laugh. Laugh and laugh a lot. Laugh silly at the problems that you have. Not that laughing as a natural process will naturally wipe away the tears or the problem. But can you honestly tell me that it doesn't make it seem smaller or make the mood lighter! For me it does. Laugh with those around, you're flexing your heart's muscles when you laugh. You're exciting it.

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I am what I am

I am big, big as the Himalayas where my fathers played seek and hide on;
I am big, big as the Kilimanjaro that my forefathers medidated on;
I am big, big as the fists of the freedom fighters that fought on;

I am beautiful, beautiful as the sun kissed dunes of the Kalahari;
I am beautiful, beautiful as the moon whose light caress the valleys of St. Lucia;
I am pretty, pretty as the lilies that drape the curves of Tanzania;
[read the rest here]

PS: I've just launched a new blog in the izzonline stable, a poetry blog, an inspirational poetry blog. So do check it out here to see my very first inspirational poem on the Africa, the beautiful father, the lovely mother of all continents.

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Coffee cups and life

Came across this interesting parable through the stumbleupon tool once again. I enjoyed reading it and I hope that you can also take away from it as I did.

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee.Savour the coffee, not the cups! The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

Obtained from: http://space.businessballs.com/index.asp?bawl=222
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Impossible is nothing

I rarely become a fan of TV ads. At most, whilst I use to spend more of my life in front of the telly, they annoyed me because they'd break the attention to some interesting movie or reality show of something of some interesting sort. Ad time was surf time for me. My thumb would frantically press the remote in search of channels not on a break. But there's this one particular ad I like. Especially considering my current state of mind. The ad, so simple, yet its message so captivating, is the Addidas ad. It's a solo feature of David Beckham, the guy whose name and wife is synomous with international football.

Why is this ad interesting? Well, essentially, David Beckham speaks a bit about his challenges and running towards his fears from his teens to become the icon he is today. He fearlessly declares that 'impossible is nothing'. And that alone, is the part that got me so hooked on the ad - I'm now searching for it on the net (if anyone has, throw it my way).

That may just be an ad by a clever copywriter with intent to bait thousands of customers and haul out their money (which, for Addidas, is obviously not impossible). But it's reality that the stuff we fear the most in this world is the stuff that we tell ourselves that it's impossible - we and those around us label some of our dreams impossible before we even go for the kill. We fear to try it out lest we fail and the result: wallowing at the bottomless pit called sorrow. In fact, we were born to take up on challenges face on (or which ever way you prefer).

We were meant to walk to our greatness not because were're running from mediocrity (that which we ran from, runs towards us too - that's how fear operates), but because were're answering a call to greatness. And impossibilities encountered along the way, failures that beat us down the ground along the narrow paths, only mould and teach us to take a different approach or persist more and more.

Impossible is nothing, I came to realise that truth first hand this past weekend when I set out to do what I hadn't done before in my entire life: dry fast for a flat out 48 hours (2 days) without food or water. Zilch of that. And with doubts and thoughts of impossibility in my mind, I thought I'd fail. But I did it, amidst aching muscles and splinterring headaches. And during that fast, I had inspiration to create and start writing a fable which will go on to change peoples lives all over the world. I plan to finish writing it end August and soonest a publisher is found, release it early next year.

"Impossible!". Errr, what's that, some urban legend perhaps?

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Exhilaratingly spooky and freaking dumbfounding

Those are my words describing my mood this morning after realising that I’ve made my first step to greatness by leaping or rather rocketing out of my sheepskin that I’d worn for over a decade. A decade of mediocrity and sorrow, and of course, mixed with fun, growth and love too. The challenge that comes with this infinite liberty will be extreme, but I hear a voice inside me say that it’s “okay”. That “the internal elements of such extremes are only there to guide you and mould you into what you’ve always desired to be”.

Immediately after seating at my desk here at work, I called my wife to share with her my ‘super natural’ anti-climax - (‘super natural’ because it was so difficult to arrive at this starting line), I’d believed that the start will be super natural. That some super natural force will come to me to help me get to the start.

But what I shared with my wife on the phone were news of a simple yet beautiful feeling of peace and quietness from within me. That the battles I’d embarked on for over ten years have now summed up to mean something: an arrival at a start called ‘the responsible path to greatness’ – and a least travelled one at that, for many do still wear the sheepskin that I’ve just shed (although it was shed over a longer time and I still have to peel off the itsy bitsy itching and annoying remnants her and there).

Let me not say too much of what happened in the last 24 hours but that on trying to fish meaning by sharing with my wife my insight, we both deduced that I made the call during the hour of 7am and I’d planned to dry fast so that I can shed off this sheepskin for good and commemorate a deeper connection with the joy, peace and birthpower from within me – the fast is on 07.07.07. The metaphor in that was oceans away from my mind and heart, but my wife simply said 777 is conventionally a jackpot.

There you go – 07.07.07 is the starting line to the thin path to greatness and infinite joy for me and I plan to share every moment of that with people along the way!

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Eight principles of fun

I struggled to stay awake as much as I battled to sleep. I was (I'm) busy siphering through my mind to see if there're any good ideas that I can run with besides the other stuff that I've managed to not achieve by far. But my effort-muscles are getting stronger each time and I'd believe stronger on the right thing/focus/path.

As my idea-fishing in my head was going on, I diverted a bit and stumbled upon an interesting site with some amazing stuff that captures quite a number of that stuff which really matters but always put on the back burner. I'm happy to share with you the Eight Principles of Fun - exciting multimedia presentation. Check them out at this link: http://www.eightprinciples.com/ and remember, do share with a friend and contacts.

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This too shall pass

Life gets busy. Life gets tough. And in the midst of it all, we get hurt by various things in our lives. Be it because someone we love and respect has let us down, loss, temporary setbacks, sickness, disappointment or dreams and goals that we keep procrastinating – all this can and do make up part and puzzle of our days.

During such soul tormenting times we just feel less the marvels that we truly are. We feel that life and our fellow humans are unfair and we lose the hope that got us this far and through other bumps in the past. But if you think of it, whatever significant bump you find yourself against, it will pass. Like others before it, this too shall pass.

In 1998 I was briefly hospitalised after my body was arrested by a rare seizure of some sort. The acute pain put me in some state of near-paralysis and I couldn’t walk – although I could try, I caused myself monstrous pain. Got to hospital with my mother, who seemed to be in equal pain at the view of her son’s anguish, and I was told that I would never father a single baby in my life. That whatever happened, has managed to deny me the opportunity to reproduce.

As you can imagine, the pain grew a hundred-fold as it was elevated to emotional torture than just physical by the Cuban surgeon’s sad breaking news. To say the least, I was the saddest man on earth during that period – or so I thought.

After some days, I was home recovering from an equally painful operation, I was told by someone very close to me that what happened means I must just give it up. That there isn’t a point in living any longer. At that moment, when I heard those words, I swore to myself that I will make things great for myself. That this too shall pass and I will make things right. The person who told me to give it up would be shocked to learn that the bad patch did pass indeed, although at that period I believed it never would. And today I enjoy the beautiful love and smiles of my two wonderful daughters, princess Talia and princes Nalika.

So, whatever you’re going through today. Right now. Just know one thing for sure: this too shall pass.

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We fear a 'thing' called nothing - laughable hey

Yes, fear stops no man. Fear, because it isn't a physical blockade standing tall and wide like the Great Wall of China, doesn't, in fact, stop any person - we stop ourselves. As people we choose to believe that fear stops us from doing this and that, from achieve our heart's desires. Fear is pure melancholy and no more. It's a feeling like any other and we can either choose to embrace it or let go of it and just be. The saddest thing is that after our brave, wonderous and adventourous child days, we become encultured, as adults, into embracing, and in fact, instilling fear into our once beautifully bravehearts. If you think of it, what we fear is in fact not there. We fear a 'thing' called nothing (wuuu, wuuuuuuuuu!) - isn't that laughable!

I feared so much to put down the first word of my novel - for years. The reason I feared was because I felt somewhat that I wasn't good enough. That I couldn't cut it (although no one told me this, I told myself that and it became a self-fulfilling prophecy). That I had to wait for something extra first to come and attach to me so I can become greater, a genius with some holy manna-type inspiration falling into my head to knock me into a 'capable' genius. But I thought hard and long about it. Searched deep and thorough.

The truth hit me: that those who put down their first words weren't geniuses. They weren't hit by some manna-type seed from up above. They started because they chose not to judge their future based on learnt and self-imposed inhibitions. With my deep-search, I realised that what I most fear isn't there. There is nothing. Just a smokescreen of melancholy in my mind that I invented over the years as life knocked me left, right and centre (and down too). But the only person that can knock me up is me. And with that, the first paragraph to my most debatable, bestseller novel was cast. And alas, fear, as I'd imagined, is nothing but a coward I invented. It wasn't there to stop me.

The reality of the situation is that everything else I need, every single resource that I need to sojourn into my dreams and capture them is already in me. It was there the moment I was born - just like you. Great people came to this earth like you and me. With no clothes, special hammer and chisel, etcetera etcetera. Just the natural resources inside each and everyone of us that we choose, which in turn assist us to either seize the moments in our lifes that come as windows of opportunity or to look fear in the eye (what eye?) and show it our heels.

David Taylor asks in his book, The Naked Coach: 'Can you walk into a maternity ward in a hospital full of newborn babies and honestly point to me the ones who are failures?'. I'll leave you to answer that one.

Perhaps we can both agree that our failures are learnt, so much as they can be unlearnt, if not, perhaps they can be used to inspire us to run forward, for if we've made fear this much strong in governing our lifes, then its anti-thesis, Courage, isn't getting invited to the party by us. How about the instant fear spookily cuts in, we invite Courage to come to the stage as well?

Remember one thing: What we fear is not there. We fear a 'thing' called nothing.

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The law of karma - good comes back to good

You know what, life is beautiful when you take care of the small things. The small things that matter that is. It makes it all worth the while to walk this earth amidst the trials and tribulations that instill shiverous fear in us. On 25th June I wrote an entry called "Say hello to someone different today and tomorrow". That stuff isn't bullshitism. That stuff about remembering your friends and thanking them for being such. About warming someones heart with a good but genuine gesture of love. About remembering the people who helped build your character along the way, in their small or big ways, and saying to them "thank you". Because the truth, the undeniable - albeit somewhat ignored truth - is that as you walk this earth as the person that you are, you carry with you in your character the marks of those who participated in crafting you. Or to be more specific, they participated in helping the genious and greatness in you come to dance.

Why am I saying it works and it's imperative? Because I tried hard as I could to live up to it. I did say the good hellos, I helped the colleague, the stranger, and I appeased and in fact visited and lunched with at least one of those who had most hurt me. And believe me, the calls I made to the teachers in my former schools and my university touched hearts - and the reciprocating "thank you, you made my day" humbled me more than it did its receiver. And I was surprised that the receivers said that at the drop of our telephonic conversation, they have a special, long-waiting call to make.

All this beautiful karma tapestry is simply explained by what I came across on Deepak Chopra's wap on my phone, chopra.com, wherein it is quoted as 'Spiritual law of the day': " The Law of Karma... Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind. Choosing actions that bring happiness and success to others ensures the flow of happiness and success to you."

Go start a revolution. Or is it 'loveolotion'?

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Focus is important when catching dreams

This past was a very productive weekend. The post effect of productivity is a lighter heart and clearer mind. And that is embraced too, by bliss and less soul torment. On the weekend, I cleared some of the baggage that inhibits me toward an action-oriented life. For I had my many goals and dreams, which I wanted to make real at once with one energy. But on some spontaneous, albeit significant, and rare conversation with my life partner, I was told unapologetically that I waste so much energy shooting at many a star instead of concentrating it first at one star. My wife simply told me: "focus on your biggest dream that you had for a long time, and that is writing, which you're good at (she's nice to me, I know you may think differently)."

When I went to Rhodes University, after hearing of it by pure chance in some paper ad ('best journalism school in Africa' - it screamed) whilst in that back-of-the-world village, the goal was one: Go learn how to sharpen your writing skill for straight four years - and when you finish, write that killer-award-winner novel. I got there, and realised they don't teach you to write novels but rather to write (journalistic) - and the choice is yours what you do with that.

So, with my wife's weekender words in mind, I got reminded that the top of my dreams list was always crowned by one: Write a damned good novel. And I caught a wake up call that I better refocus and waiver away from some other somewhat good but distracting brand new dreams (put them off and start on this one biggest dream first). It's good I had that came-natural talk, which made me realise that I was starting to stop to see the bull's eye and my heart's appetite wandering about unguided.

Nothing wrong with focusing on many dreams, but if one of them is not taken serious enough with the laser attention it deserves, how come any of them be alchemised to reality? Think of the imagery of the alchemist. He needs to put one raw iron at a time into that furnace. For each of them needs enough heat to give in and be moulded into masterpieces.

So it is with that insight that my focus will be heavily on writing, sharpening and mastering this skill as I work on my novel and/or other books. In fact, I was already on the right way with my thoughts on two books before this weekend even cut in. But it was only yesterday that I bought a novel called Wizard of the Crow by Ngugi wa Thiong'o just to oil and rev up the machine.

If you aren't catching your dreams well yet, if you can't alchemise them and turn them into reality, how about you refocus and go big on that one long-standing dream that's so close to your heart? Would that be a bad idea? I'm trying it out.

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Adopt and model your best character

Been doing some serious thinking lately about character and traits. I'm sure you would be in concert with me that most successes in life and true joy is a by-product of character and and its traits. The reason many of us (me too) keep going round and round in circles regarding our personal growth and goals is that we're doing it with all the wrong character. The attitude isn't firing up the engine hot enough to last us even two days. We make a personal commitments today to make some life improvements, oopsy, they're gone tomorrow just as fast as they came. My recent battle with my habitual devils has revealed in me default-failure character traits.

To kill the habitual devils I kind of went on in silence in my head. I gathered the peace and quite in my mind and the best solution I could find in my deepest silence to date, was that I need to invent the ideal me. Character, traits, attitude, behaviour, habits and beliefs that are strictly aligned to consistent personal growth and a success lifestyle. Call it using the right gear to climb a high altitude mountain than going only with guinea mouse faith - running on the same marry-go-round hoping to get somewhere (Hah, what insanity in sane man!).

Adopting or even inventing a character that one really wants to emulate is the sure way to get it right. To get the marry-go-forward results. I decided to take the traits of a few successful people and implant them inside and adopt them as daily habits. This comes in the wake of my missing on some of my goals that I recently set. So most important things are going right since the clean sweep, but it's the significant moves that are not happening yet. The moves that could see my life witness a leap to what I've always desired to live. And I believe that could come only with shedding the sheep skin and wearing the lion hide.

I bet you could also try and create, invent, adopt or emulate a character that you believe most demonstrates what you truly want to stand for. This whole character invention thing came to my mind whilst paging through a recent Men's Health magazine: "After all, his success as an actor depends on his ability to inhabit the mind of another person and then stay in character for months," it goes. That piece was about Gerard Butler who played Leonardis in the epic movie 300. And that's what I admire about actors like Butler and Whitaker's character in The Last King of Scotland - they can stay in character for months. They eat, talk, breath and fart like the character they're emulating - they become that person.

If they stay in character for months and their lives don't depend on it, how about you stay in character for years? I know my life depends on it. I bet you'll have become that person you truly want to be - that characters habits, traits, attitude and beliefs will be deeply implanted in you within a year that you become that person. "Man's mind, stretched by a new idea, never goes back to its original dimensions, said Oliver Wendell Holmes.

Well, I'm going to give it a try and also live like that character - daily, until I become that character. It's bonding with the ideal me. After all, no tax to be paid in trying and I stand a damned good chance of stopping the marry-go-nowhere.

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"Judge of a man by his questions, rather than by his answers." - Voltaire

Like Gandhi, be slow to anger

Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, Nelson Mandela, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Mother Teresa are for me, the slowest of human beings. They’re people who maintain a snail pace – they’re not quick to anger, in fact, they’re very slow to anger. Read any of the official and authoritative texts about them, and you’ll get the same message I got, that these are ordinary man behaving and keeping themselves in extraordinary manners, particularly when it comes to interacting with others and even those who hurt them the most.

Today, there’re so many brazen pressures about us. Everything is quick quick quick and we’re busy busy busy and neglecting to nurture the best of character traits in us. To top that all up, our lifestyles (a rat race one at most) are burnout ridden. Day in, day out. We’ve adopted instant behaviours. Behaviours that are not at all cultivated and grown from within us with nurturing – like the six leaders I mentioned.

The result is that because they’re such instantly obtained behaviours, we’re instant and quick in using them – we lose patience fast. We’re fast to anger. We’re quick to judge. And by the same token, quick to lose things of value in our lives due to such instant, quick fix behaviours.

I thought to myself the other day that, when faced with difficult situations, especially ones where I’m interacting with others, I’ll ask myself: What would Gandhi do – would he be eye-for-an-eye about it? Would the Dalai Lama make swift, harsh judgement? Would Nelson Mandela put aside his ego and keep cool the situation and forgive? Would Mother Teresa throw a big tantrum in an instant outburst? Wouldn’t Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., instead of acting with force of anger, rather proclaim that he has a dream – that tomorrow this too will pass and the two would-be belligerents embrace each other? "Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that," said King.

Without doubt, these people have consistently portrait some of the best character traits we know, and stealing a leaf from the books of ‘rules of engagement’ isn’t a bad idea.

With that in mind, wouldn’t one slow down the anger in them? I’m not claiming that that’s what I do daily when faced with angering situations. But I sure try and I did get it right on rare occasion. And without doubt, I’ve the opportunity, daily, to try and be patient and slow to anger. For anger is rarely ever justifiable, even if it’s in retaliation – Mandela and Gandhi certainly thought so.

Let’s face it, Anger does more damage inside us by waking the devil in us and giving them time to exercise and get stronger – for what ultimate purpose, I shudder to know. But I’ll also be first to agree that, anger sometimes may be necessary to push forward what we couldn’t otherwise have pronounced – but in that nature, it has to be extremely controlled, (hence, be slow to anger).

Regarding character and anger, wouldn't you agree that Dr King had it right when he proclaimed: "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy".

So next time when you get an invitation to engage in anger, respond patiently to it. Take time filling in your RSVP. Be slow to get to anger mode.

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"Judge of a man by his questions, rather than by his answers." - Voltaire

Life without any limbs but no limits at all, amazing

A friend emailed me pictures of Nick Vujicic this morning, an Austrailian congenital amputee who leads a normal life, at first I didn't believe them and thought they were photoshopped until I visited Nick's site. Nick has no limbs but goes on to achieve everything else that he sets out to achieve and his biggest goal is to be independent - regardless. And watching his video of his typical day, you'd say he surely is already achieving that as it is.

Then I asked myself a question: with everything that I have and more mobility, why is it that I always put for tomorrow what I could do today. Many of us do that. Day in day out, but Nick is not - he kills it today. We're waiting for the perfect day to come for us to achieve our goals - to start working on them. And that day isn't coming because it was yesterday and the next one is today. We're waiting for something extra to happen before we start working on our goals or living the lives that we really desire - and I'm hurting to be in that league although I'm working hard on it. But Nick doesn't wait for any extras. He kills it. And is leading his life there way he desires and helping others at that. See this video below and be inspired and check his site to very how realy it is.



This video material is not my own and is entirely owned by Life Without Limbs, www.lifewithoutlimbs.org. Visit Nick's site to see more pictures, audio and video clips - and may be even recommend him to come speak at your organisation.

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"Judge of a man by his questions, rather than by his answers." - Voltaire

Lose yourself, like Slim Shady, lose yourself

"If you had, one shot, one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, one moment, would you capture it, or just let it slip."

I play Slim's "Lose Yourself" a lot more than any other song on my laptop. I fire up my day with it. When I'm stuck whilst writing, it panelbeats the writers block for me, because I lose myself. There are other songs that raze my fears and inhibitions to the ground. I’m sure you also have. If you don’t you better start having. It can make a lot of difference between a shit day and one beautiful, productive day.

Slim's words of "If you had one shot…" reminds me that we always get our shot. No. Not just a shot, but our best shot, then we don’t capture it, we don’t own it, we let it slip. Often. That’s why we go in circles about our dreams and bad habits - that's why I do. For now!. In Og Mandino’s The Greatest Salesman in the World (which I wrote about yesterday), Hafiq says ‘habits are good. Just replace all the bad ones with the good ones’. For me, the baddies are being replaced with the goodies since some time last month. But I know that I let it slip a bit. And it hurts me to see it slip of my own cause.

"The moment you own it you better never let it go, you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow, this opportunity comes once in a life time."

When that moment comes to make it all right. To change it all after a lot of struggle. After the big opportunity comes to make it better for yourself, own it. Like I said I slip a bit (not for long), but I know that the time has come for me to own it once and for all. And so far, so good (notwithstanding the small procrastinations here and there - which are being ironed out).

"This world is mine for the taking, make me king."

I wrote before about shortliving our lives, ourselves. And always settling for the smaller, safer, risk-less dreams or habits or life. What happens with that, I realized for me, is that you shoot for the tree to hit a bird, you hit only the tree. But you shoot for the sky, you hit a star. A damned bright happy star.

"I've got to formulate a plot or I’ll end up in jail or shot. Success is my only motherfucking option, failure is not."

For most of us, failure is an option we go with. It doesn’t happen because it’s part of the puzzle. It’s because we didn’t formulate a plan. We went on with hope of getting what we never planned to get. We believe in luck too much than we do in planning the goals toward our dreams. Charting a path to our desired life’s is necessary. Leave out failure as an option. Formulate your best plan, then go for the kill with massive action. If you aimed high enough, sure one star will be hit – and that’s not failure. It’s a different outcome of success, for even the best laid plans can take a different course and result.

"You can do anything you set your mind to man."

I believe Slim on this one. Yesterday I did an op on my tooth after having missed my appointment seven days ago (yes I got late – bad bad habit). On arriving late, Dr Sic, the dentist, told me that he will not be held liable should the temporary fill in my tooth cause trouble since its date to be replaced by a permanent one is due. He said the pain I had experienced would all come back. My mind, at that very instant, made me believe I was in pain when I left the office. I could feel the pain. Not because it was there, but because a pro told me it may come back. Now isn’t that the infinite power of the mind? That it believes what it's told and can't tell the real from the unreal. I plan to tell my mind other big, less painful things. In short, I’m going to lose myself.

The moment we stop dreaming, we stop living

At some points I stop trying to onslaught my bad habits and going for the big kill at my goals and dreams. And every time I stop, a day wouldn’t go by without misery of having lost some part of my reason for living. I believe our goals are the thread that holds the fabric of our souls closely contacted to our minds and the world. That our dreams are the green (read: growth) blood in us that give us hope and meaning to our lives. So why stop dreaming and, in fact, setting and acting on daily goals that get us closer to that dream.

Because, at least for me, like a damned human, I’m taught to have my cake and not eat it all – and I live out that small truth in a big way believing things to be impossible.

I’m reminded of some passages in two books that I read yesterday before bed. In Tom Peters’ intriguing Re-imagine, he quotes what Robin Sharma (of The Greatness Guide international bestseller fame I reviewed here) also adores quoting: “There’s no use trying,” said Alice. “One can’t believe in impossible things.” She lamented.

“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

Those are the insightful words from Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass. The Queen didn’t miss the mark a bit. I’ve been missing it just like Alice. And like Alice, I’ll take the Queen’s advice and believe in my goals and dreams.

Richard Branson in Screw it, let’s do it in a chapter labeled ‘Challenge yourself’ says, “Everyone needs something to aim for. You can call it a challenge, or you can call it a goal. It is what makes us human. It was challenges that took us from being cavemen to reaching for the stars.

“If you challenge yourself, you will grow. Your life will change. Your outlook will be positive. It’s not always easy to reach your goals but that’s no reason to stop. Never say die. Say to yourself, ‘I can do it. I’ll keep on trying until I win’.

Dreams, and their goals are beautiful things, but nasty to stick to or achieve. At the same time, the reason we keep, I keep, having them or creating them is that we need them. ‘They make us human’, the big dreaming billionaire Branson says. That’s why we can’t be separated from our dreams. By the same token, that’s why on many occasion we are so sad and miserable, left feeling that something is missing. That there’s a void.

For me, that void is created by the lack of action and drive I don’t put behind my goals and dreams. It’s that whole personal integrity dilemma thing again.

Ever really been hard on yourself? The result is that you become miserable that very instant. And the main reasons we get hard one on poor us is because we didn’t stick to that goal of losing some weight off our bodies. That we didn’t visit that such and such we’d been planning to visit. That we didn’t say that daily prayer we been meaning to say or didn’t go to church as planned. We didn’t kick that bad bad smoking habit in the butt. We didn’t forgive our parent, or whoever else, for something we made a big deal out of. That we didn’t make that phone call we put on hold for long. We keep postponing that important project. We didn’t take that trip/holiday we always promised ourselves. That we didn’t do this one thing and that other as we had wished and planned to. Not so ironic, when we do just even a small bit towards our goals and dreams, we become happy that instant.

The music and the dance are different – no jelling together. Then misery abounds. It beholds. It takes over. And, well, like me, on occasion – I’m being modest here – I’m happy on the outside, but miserable from within (in respect of my personal development). And it’s about time one took a stand. Aluta continua!


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"Judge of a man by his questions, rather than by his answers." - Voltaire

Ten top advices from my mother

10 advices that came from my mother during my grow up and recently. And it's now that they really start to sink in, and I start to get the message.

1. Don’t make it a big deal and forgive
2. You’ll do it fine next time
3. Be thankful and do say thanks
4. Eat (properly)
5. Do your work and finish it
6. Respect them they'll respect you back
7. Focus on your life - it can only get better
8. keep one job for at least more than 12 months (I try. I really try and for the first time in three companies, I did more than a year on 1 June)
9. Brush your teeth at night (I try. And since last month’s bad bad toothache, I know what mama meant)
10. God wills. Just put in the effort

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"Judge of a man by his questions, rather than by his answers." - Voltaire