Personal integrity

I've been slacking a lot on my big dreams/goals. And for some reasons, it's only lately that I get worried about it. Perhaps because my life has reached half-50 and I wonder: will I be able to to do in the next 25 years what I couldn't do in the past same period? The thought races my heart, to say the least. But it all boils down to my integrity. My personal integrity. That I haven't been honest with Izz regarding his committments and desires.

They say the simplest things in life are the hardest to achieve. And it's the simpler goals that I've always had for some time now that I'm not putting serious effort and action behind. And those goals, although small, cost me the opportunity of getting closer to the bigger dreams - and personal triumph (more like inner bliss).

A goal as simple as waking up at 5am to have my 'me' time for 30 minutes - thinking, reflecting, introspecting, meditating, appreciating and laughing at myself (silently of course, lest my wife things I've gone bollokous on this whole 'my enriched life thing' - can inject serious positive energy that can lead to better consistent action. I could shed all the bad acid in side me with that alone.

I think a struggle with making ones actions integral with ones goals is that it's always easy to not do than to do - mainly because we don't believe in the reality of our own big dreams. The incentive doesn't seem tangible. Again, it's always easy to not honour something at its due date and time, because 'it's my goal,I set it, so I can postpone it for later on'.

But at work, if the boss set a goal with strict deadlines for us - no matter how novel and difficult the task - we always deliver, for fear of being penalised and labeled incompetent, with incentives compromised.

But with our personal goals, there are really no visible, tangible penalties, hence the constant procrastination. I pity myself for being in that league - which I'll bade farewell soon. And hopefully, with this expressions, mine will be a changed goals lifestyle with repacursions if I don't stick to it. Ones my dance goes with my internal tune, once the two are congruent, I believe I'll shed the bad load and be happier. Now that's personal, inner harmony. It's integrity.


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"Judge of a man by his questions, rather than by his answers." - Voltaire